Magna Carta.
By Marriott Edgar.
I'll tell of the Magna Charter, as were signed
at the Barons' command
On Runningmead Island int' middle ot'
Thames by King John, as were known as "Lack
Land."
Some say it were wrong of the Barons their
will on the King so to thrust,
But you'll see if you look at both sides of the case, that they had to do
summat, or bust.
For John, from the minute they crowned him,
started acting so cunning and sly,
Being King o course, he couldn't do wrong, but by gum, he'd a proper good try.
He squandered t’ratepayer's money, all their
cattle and corn did he take,
'Til there wasn't a morsel of bread in the land, and foak had to manage on
cake.
The way he behaved to young Arthur, went to
show as his feelings was bad;
He tried to get Hubert to poke out his eyes, which is no way to treat a young
lad.
It were all right him being a tyrant, to
vassals and foaks o that class,
but he tried on his tricks wit Barons an' all, and that's where he made a
'faux pas'.
He started bombardin their castles, and
burning em over their head,
'Til there worn't enough castles left to go round and they had to sleep six in
a bed.
So they went to the King in a body, and their
spokesman, Fitzwalter by name,
He opened the 'ole in his 'elmet and said, conciliatory like, “what’s the
game?"
The King starts to shilly and shally, he sits
and he haws and he hums,
'Til the Barons in rage started gnashin their teeth, and them wi no teeth
gnashed their gums’.
Said Fitz, through the 'ole in his 'elmet, "
it was you as put us in this plight."
And the King having nothing to say to this murmured “leave me your address and
I'll write".
This angered the gallant Fitzwalter; he
stamped on the floor wi his foot,
and were starting to gi John a reight ticking off, when the 'ole in his 'elmet
fell shut.
"We'll get him a Magna Charter" Said Fitz when
his face he had freed;
said the Barons "That's reight and if one's not enough, get a couple and
happen they'll breed.''
So they set about making a Charter, when at
finish they'd got it drawn up,
It looked like a paper on cattle disease, or the entries for t' Waterloo Cup.
Next day, King John, all unsuspecting, and
having the afternoon free,
To Runningmead Island had taken a boat, and were havin some shrimps for his
tea.
He'd just pulled the 'ead off a big 'un, and
were pinching its tail wi his thumb,
When up came a barge load of Barons, who said, "we thought tha’d be here so
we've come"
When they told him they'd brought Magna
Charter, the King seemed to go kind o limp,
but minding his manners he took off his hat and said, “Thanks very much, have
a shrimp."
“Tha’d best sign at once," said Fitzwalter,
“If tha dunt, I'll tell thi for a start,
the next coronation will happen quite sooin, and tha weern't be theer to take
part."
So they spread Charter out on t' tea table,
and John signed his name like a lamb,
His writing in places wor sticky and thick, through dipping his pen int jam.
And it's through that theer Magna Charter, as
were signed by the Barons of old,
That in England today we can do what we like,
As long as we do as we're told.